9.30.2004
Today, after teaching the high school punks, the nightmare of it still comes back when i walked in the classroom...
so I have students that belong to different groups. Some older some younger and some will go to a college and some might just go straight to work...
Today, I walked in to the classroom where the students are supposed to go to some college, yet they all seem to give up english long time ago...couldn't believe I "perform" a freak show again...They were not so bad in fact, they even shouted "teacher, I love you..." when I entered the room. However, i'm still get really frustrated when the greeting is over and they start to either chat or STARE at me...Man is that hard....
And the next long hour class i had tonight belong to the good group. They actually signed up the class and pay for the class. I realized, though, as i walked in the classroom, there were 63 students waiting for me to talk, i mean teach, at the stage. So I hooked on my microphone and taught them every possible way to do the english test well...it was not funny...i felt like being a fighter in a war, one question after another, bang bang bang!!! Finished the class, almost 3 hours long, all my energy was sucked out and as i was putting away my microphone, I felt like i just finished selling something in the market, dirty and exhausted, and ready to go home....
i guess being a teacher takes lots of courage and lots of energy, hopefully this experience right now won't destroy my passion for teaching that I had the first time i taught...it is though, it's killing me...only slowly...
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9.22.2004
Don't know what has been wrong now. I feel that life has been so crazy these days. Got offered a part-time teaching job at a high school...yet, man, it is so hard! Not that teaching is hard but to rule the classes has been total challenge to me ever! I have been there for several day now, but I have never felt so frustrated of teaching in my life.
Actually, out of the four different classes, there was just this one "105" that completed deteates me...It is a class of 47 15 year-old PUNKS, i mean, students. Almost all girls... I walked into the room for the first time, the class leader did look up, and after almost five minutes after she started to wake up from her sleeping and started to wake up the rest of class. I started to shout so that they knew there came the teacher. I introduced myself...and I was pretty damn sure that NO one, none, actually gave a shit who I am. Fine! I kept doing what I have to do, the lesson from the textbook...ten minutes or so, half of the class were already asleep, and I only fund out because almost absolutely no one read the sentences with me. Another loud shout to wake them up and making sure they know where the page we were, they even began to take out they mirrors to do their make-ups in less than one minute!!!! "Umm.....Hello~~~~"
truly unbelievable...I think to myself, these punk girls were either testing me or they really didn't care. Maybe they were trying to see if i would be scared away like the last FIVE english teachers!
Mm....there, my first day of teaching nightmare was that. Although it was pretty disarranged and tiring..all that...I decided to give it another shot the next day...(Oh, did i mention that I have to see these 105 punks five times a week???)
So, with full preparation of teaching plans i made before and a microphone they required...I walked in the classroom and ready to try to be their friend again. I started by giving the principles/rules of my class. No talking, no sleeping and no making up!!! They were pretty quiet for a minute...and than those mirrors and pillows and talkings and joking around were out again. This time, I didn't even bother stopping them. I thought my grammar and if they wanted to learn, they would. There probably be about 10 girls wanted to learn. And "fine" I thinks, I will just teach them.
However, after couples of turning down on my requests and saying "no, and I don't want to and I don't know" I knew I had to gain their faith and friendship again. So I stopped the serious teaching and gave them a ten minute break.
Get this, and this is how I decided that I was a total loser to them and that I gave up!
me: "Ok, ok, be quiet, be quiet now..." "I know this is boring to you, why don't we have a little chat here, so that we know each other better...:)"
A complete silence.........
classleader: (shouted)"Sure, teacher, ok, why don't you tell us now what color of underwear you are wearing...or you are not wearing any???? Tell us first..if you want to chat with us..."
"haha....ha..ha...ha............." the whole class burst out laughing and laughing.........
So, I was defeated as they wished. But what am i to lose?? I really have no idea...
Students are a mystery,so hard to try to figure it out, and I guess they will always remain that way to me!
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9.16.2004
Check this new skin out!!! :)
I'm not totally sure if this new skin is better looking than the old ones, however...this "zen" chinese character on the top of the blog makes everything so peaceful (and cool?) all of a sudden...
Thanks Ryan for doing this for me while you were actually sleeping with your red eyes half open...;)
My little project of opening a private classroom doesn't seem to go anywhere...whole lot of bloody waiting for calls! I start to loosen up a bit, and thinking maybe I'm just not a material for business anyways! Oh well.....at least, today the sun comes out a bit and the rain stops for a long while already!
Except for the really annoying rain and my little not-looking-good classroom these days...guess not much has happened.
Oh, wait.....Except that I have got a surprise all the way from Canada! Little did I know that there was my present of a real pretty frame hidden in Ryan's big parcel from his mom....Wow!!;))))
So, just thought that I'd say "Thanks! ;)" to Valerie and Natalie here for the beautiful irises' card and warmth you gave me which traveled all the way to Taiwan! You made my day! *-)
iris
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9.08.2004
this morning, it felt like it's winter already...Not true though, cuz everyone knows it's just the cool air and gray sky brought by the typhoon tail... I enjoyed it. Woke up early, washed up quickly and wanted to get out of the apartment...Went to the market. It was still busy like crazy. i walked into the market
thinking the coriander and a cucumber I have to get for my curry, while every one in the market seemed to greet, i mean 'stare' at me with my odd look. well, of course, i guess it's pretty big contrast to see a young girl with the outfit like Avril (with baggy pants and a big side bag) while the rest of people in the market are moms and grandmas...ya know...
Met rye at starbucks. Had my breakfast, and him, a small coffee for lunch. meeting was short, less than an hour...But it felt great, just little chat for a short break...
Said bye to him, I tried to figure out what to do for the rest of the day. Today is a dayoff for me. New semester for teaching hasn't started yet...I tried to think hard to kill the time ...
walked back to where I parked, it started to rain....all of a sudden I felt that this rain ruined everything for today. my beautiful fantasy of a cool autumn day was swept away by this nonstop humid summer rain...
It is still raining outside this internet cafe, I don't know which is better, to write something which i wish to do for ages when getting online in the house becomes inconvenient these days... or to walk away from this supper unbelievable loud and annoying sounds of the online games, where it's impossible to escape from near my seat...
Wait...the boys sitting next to me are, i guess they are gone cuz they were out of coins...finally a little quiet for my brain...
What was i gonna write?? Duck it, my mind became empty now....all i can think of is those crazy sharp sound of shooting and loud bombing of the games those boys played...
another time then! ;/
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9.02.2004
Life is changing every second now...i only feel it after the second i thought about it, and that second has long gone...
what can i say???
I guess no one would write another long stupid BLOG if the first one is somehow DISAPPEARED out of blue...
I wouldn't!
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