9.30.2004
Today, after teaching the high school punks, the nightmare of it still comes back when i walked in the classroom...
so I have students that belong to different groups. Some older some younger and some will go to a college and some might just go straight to work...
Today, I walked in to the classroom where the students are supposed to go to some college, yet they all seem to give up english long time ago...couldn't believe I "perform" a freak show again...They were not so bad in fact, they even shouted "teacher, I love you..." when I entered the room. However, i'm still get really frustrated when the greeting is over and they start to either chat or STARE at me...Man is that hard....
And the next long hour class i had tonight belong to the good group. They actually signed up the class and pay for the class. I realized, though, as i walked in the classroom, there were 63 students waiting for me to talk, i mean teach, at the stage. So I hooked on my microphone and taught them every possible way to do the english test well...it was not funny...i felt like being a fighter in a war, one question after another, bang bang bang!!! Finished the class, almost 3 hours long, all my energy was sucked out and as i was putting away my microphone, I felt like i just finished selling something in the market, dirty and exhausted, and ready to go home....
i guess being a teacher takes lots of courage and lots of energy, hopefully this experience right now won't destroy my passion for teaching that I had the first time i taught...it is though, it's killing me...only slowly...
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