6.21.2006
Teaching can be so devastating sometimes! I started this new full-time job yesterday. Before I started, I sat in for a while and subtituted some classes as well. But man, am I ever beat and frustrated at this very moment about teaching. It feels like a monster that sucked all your spirit and positive energy out of your body.
I have this pain-in-the-ass student, R, super spoiled, bad attitude, noisy and REALLY rude, especially to me, of course. The first time we met, she told me: "go to die!" Later in that class, she shouted: "Why don't you jump out of the window here?!" And today, I was trying to be extra patient with her and the whole class. Still, half way through the class, R yelled at me while the entire class was quiet: "You are so STUPID! I want to play 'kill teacher' game!"
I walked out of the classroom, headed down and didn't feel like saying a word to anyone. It was 9 pm as usual. I had had enough of brat kids who either completely ignored my words nand shouted at me with the rude language. I was so beat and felt like a total loser... Indeed, teaching brings one down, and it's truly a job full of emotions.
It's sad to say that after years of teaching, I still can't escape this emotional trap and still bring home most of of the feelings. Days like this make me start to question and wonder if I am a suitable teacher...
"Ah...just a bad day of work", part of my mind keeps wanting to tell me it's nothing, yet the other part of it keeps questioning my ability as a teacher.
Blah.
iris
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